10 Thoughts About My Marriage On Our 25th Anniversary
Tomorrow, October 18th, Kep and I will be married for 25 years. Yep!
I sat down to write about it, and this is what came out. This fabulous, magical prompt, "The thing is..." was a HUGE help in getting the words to spill onto the page.
- The thing is, I never intended to get married at 21.
- But even at that tender age, where I didn’t know who I was or what I was looking for in a partner, a wise part of me told me that meeting you may not have been convenient, but it was right.
- The thing is, I had a crush on you when we first met, but I didn’t think you were my type. You used hair gel and liked top-40 music. I was a messy haired, contemplative, Van Morrison / Joni Mitchell kind of girl.
- But something happened that Nantucket summer in ’92 as we drove around in your black Celica convertible. Mariah Carey’s ‘Emotions’ played on a loop and the lightness and buoyancy of the music grew on me and lightened me up. I felt joy. Thank you for that.
- The thing is, I’m amazed and inspired by the way you easily shift from leisure and fun-seeking to focus and achievement. You’re the most driven, passionate, and hard-working person I know. Head chef of Nantucket’s 21 Federal at age 26. Who does that??!! You teach me a ton about dreaming big and stepping through doors without losing sight of play and rest.
- “Who’s that girl in the painter’s paint cut-offs?” you asked your pastry chef when you saw me cleaning patio furniture that pre-opening day in June. Shirley told you I was the new busser. “I’m going to marry that girl,” you said.
- Tears fill my eyes as I type. The thing is, your old-fashioned, romantic nature and sureness still blow my mind and touch my heart.
- Now I’m remembering that fall night in the off season. You opened the restaurant just for us and cooked a Chinese-themed feast. We ate at the corner banquet table as candles flickered in the dark, empty restaurant.
- And the thing is, then and now, I feel your intense love for me through your romantic gestures and creativity – and through your fierce belief and support in me. You literally pushed me out the car door to go on that interview for grad school at UNC. I didn’t think I was ready or had the right experience, but you wouldn’t have any of it. Same thing with Scholastic. And Write to Glow.
- The thing is, I’m already at #10 and I feel I could write all day about who you are as a man, a husband, a friend, a parent – OMG, Connor and Maddie are so lucky! – and how being your partner is incredibly satisfying – and also incredibly HARD because anyone who knows you knows that you are a force to be reckoned with, and WAY too intense, sometimes, and man, our fights are epic (and of course, I’m perfect!) – and yet, it’s because of you that we’ve never – not once -- gone to bed angry – even that night last month when you were so frustrated with me, you walked to the Residence Inn around 1 a.m. for a good night’s sleep, and we had a final chat on the phone where you made me laugh (your humor is a sexy super-power) and then you walked back to our apartment in the morning and we picked up where we left off – loving each other as best as we can, through our flaws and frustrations. And Kep, the thing is I’d marry you over and over and over again.
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The thing is...
Write whatever arises in your thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Don’t stop to think or edit - keep your pen moving.
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