10 Thoughts About My Marriage On Our 25th Anniversary

Tomorrow, October 18th, Kep and I will be married for 25 years. Yep! 

I sat down to write about it, and this is what came out. This fabulous, magical prompt, "The thing is..." was a HUGE help in getting the words to spill onto the page.

  1. The thing is, I never intended to get married at 21.
     
  2. But even at that tender age, where I didn’t know who I was or what I was looking for in a partner, a wise part of me told me that meeting you may not have been convenient, but it was right.
     
  3. The thing is, I had a crush on you when we first met, but I didn’t think you were my type. You used hair gel and liked top-40 music. I was a messy haired, contemplative, Van Morrison / Joni Mitchell kind of girl.
     
  4. But something happened that Nantucket summer in ’92 as we drove around in your black Celica convertible. Mariah Carey’s ‘Emotions’ played on a loop and the lightness and buoyancy of the music grew on me and lightened me up. I felt joy. Thank you for that.
     
  5. The thing is, I’m amazed and inspired by the way you easily shift from leisure and fun-seeking to focus and achievement. You’re the most driven, passionate, and hard-working person I know. Head chef of Nantucket’s 21 Federal at age 26. Who does that??!! You teach me a ton about dreaming big and stepping through doors without losing sight of play and rest.
     
  6. “Who’s that girl in the painter’s paint cut-offs?” you asked your pastry chef when you saw me cleaning patio furniture that pre-opening day in June. Shirley told you I was the new busser. “I’m going to marry that girl,” you said.
     
  7. Tears fill my eyes as I type. The thing is, your old-fashioned, romantic nature and sureness still blow my mind and touch my heart.
     
  8. Now I’m remembering that fall night in the off season. You opened the restaurant just for us and cooked a Chinese-themed feast. We ate at the corner banquet table as candles flickered in the dark, empty restaurant.
     
  9. And the thing is, then and now, I feel your intense love for me through your romantic gestures and creativity – and through your fierce belief and support in me. You literally pushed me out the car door to go on that interview for grad school at UNC. I didn’t think I was ready or had the right experience, but you wouldn’t have any of it. Same thing with Scholastic. And Write to Glow.
     
  10. The thing is, I’m already at #10 and I feel I could write all day about who you are as a man, a husband, a friend, a parent – OMG, Connor and Maddie are so lucky! – and how being your partner is incredibly satisfying – and also incredibly HARD because anyone who knows you knows that you are a force to be reckoned with, and WAY too intense, sometimes, and man, our fights are epic (and of course, I’m perfect!) – and yet, it’s because of you that we’ve never – not once -- gone to bed angry – even that night last month when you were so frustrated with me, you walked to the Residence Inn around 1 a.m. for a good night’s sleep, and we had a final chat on the phone where you made me laugh (your humor is a sexy super-power) and then you walked back to our apartment in the morning and we picked up where we left off – loving each other as best as we can, through our flaws and frustrations. And Kep, the thing is I’d marry you over and over and over again. 

With love,






Want to write?
Take a pen & prompt journey:


writing prompt

The thing is...


Grab a pen & notebook. Write the prompt at the top of the page. Set a timer for 10 minutes. Or 5. Or 2!

Write whatever arises in your thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Don’t stop to think or edit - keep your pen moving.

Accept ALL that you write - the pretty & ugly; absurd & boring. Discover what wants to be felt, known, expressed, released...